Christmas by myself

It is a strange set of circumstances that I should have spent the last two Christmases completely by myself. Actually, it is totally logical, but more on that later. As I sit here, looking out my den window at the cold snow flurries drifting slantwise against the bare trees, I feel quiet alone. But, that is a good thing. Being alone when one absolutely does not want to be alone and would have done anything to prevent being alone on the holidays, makes me truly appreciate the value of my family. My dogs are here, snuggled up like Ying and Yang in their dog bed, down by my feet, but they're not much as conversationalists go and they can't sing the Twelve Days of Christmas, or at least, not all they way through. Tasha is too old to remember all the verses.

I have had very severe colds, that turned to bronchitis and asthma which has prevented me from being around my loved ones at the holidays. Unfortunately, it is the job I have, teaching special ed for kindergartners and 1st graders, otherwise know as little germ dispensers, that has relentlessly exposed me to cold virus, etc. It is a job, I fear, that I will not be able to keep, in the long run, due to my somewhat compromised lungs.

This year, more than most, Christmas snuck (this is a real word, even if this spellchecker does not recognize it, I looked it up in the dictionary, ) up on me when I wasn't prepared. Every year, I plan to have a wonderful Christmas with my cards sent early, my Christmas cooking done leisurely, my decorating done with precision and care, my shopping done thoughtfully, finding just the right gift with meaning for each individual and still have time to ride around just to see all the Christmas lights. Then, as should be expected, end the whole experience in the fellowship of my family and friends. Life, however, is not like that and I guess that is another good thing. Christmas seems to be a time that when we least expect it, and when we want it to be a time of all things old and familiar, presents us with a special challenge. The challenge is how to enjoy the spirit of Christmas, both sacred and secular, no matter the circumstances. For, no matter what one's circumstances are, there is always someone who is worse off. I am warm and secure, loved and appreciated, needed and wanted, reasonably healthy and certainly happy. I will admit that it feels like Alexander the Great marched his elephants across my lungs instead of the Alps, but that is a minor inconvenience all things considered. I live in an age where technology has kept me connected across three thousand miles and three time zones, sharing important discussions about our parents, our siblings and our off springs, only interrupted by my hacking cough, which could probably be heard without the cell phone. And here I am, writing my thoughts for others to see and comment upon, even if I have to use the spell checker. Life is good - most of the time and certainly good enough to help us through rough times when life is can not be as good as we want. Christmas this year was good for me and I hope it was good for all of you.